His sovereignty

I moved

2009-07-28T19:17:00.000+08:00

If you asked me if I loved him, I'd lie.

2009-07-24T09:54:00.002+08:00

So I took a personality test, and the results are shocking.

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life.

How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.

What are you most afraid of:

You are concerned about your image and the way others see you. This means that you try very hard to be accepted by other people. It's time for you to believe in who you are, not what you wear.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

The ones that are close to me would know, and for those who are not. Well, now you know!

And hallelujah, it's Friday! I've had a whole week off school and NO REST. The only rest I got was...yesterday?

Was feeling too lazy to leave the house.

But anw!

AUDITIONS ARE NEXT THURS

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGGGGGG

AND I'M HAVING A SORE THROAT!

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGOMGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

I've not been having enough rest lately, and it's taking a toll on me.

Blast, yet another whole day out today.

God help me.

"Understanding is a fountain of life to those who have it,
but folly brings punishment to fools."

There's something about the way that I can't take my eyes off you

2009-07-23T10:23:00.002+08:00

There's something 'bout the way you look tonight,
There's something 'bout the way that I can't take my eyes off you.
There's something 'bout the way your lips invite,
Maybe it's the way that I get nervous when you're around.
And I want you to be mine,
And if you need a reason why,

It's in the way that you move me,
and the way that you tease me,
the way that I want you tonight

It's in the way that you hold me,
and the way that you know me.
When I can't find the right words to say,
you feel it in the way.
You feel it in the way

There's something 'bout how you stay on my mind.
There's something 'bout the way that I whisper your name when I'm asleep.
Maybe it's the look you get in your eyes
Maybe it's the way that makes me feel to see you smile.
And the reasons they may change
But what I'm feeling stays the same

I can't put my fingers on,
just what it is that makes me love you, you baby.
So don't ask me to describe,
I get all choked up inside,
Just thinking 'bout the way

There's something 'bout the way you look tonight,
There's nothing more to say than,
I feel it in the way.

I'm just thinking out loud

2009-07-22T22:02:00.002+08:00

Okay, my posting page is kinda screwed up, but I'm just gonna have faith and hope this turns out normal.

Had Chinese 'O' level listening compre today, it rocked. (I'm kidding)

Then rushed down to Dhoby Ghaut for jamming session. Had Astons for dinner!

Now Im'ma let the pictures do the talking.

My horrible sons. (Hehe)

"I know that the Lord is great,
that our Lord is greater than all gods."

Have you ever thought just maybe,
you belong with me?

Look up!

2009-07-21T08:55:00.005+08:00

"Humility is a matter of the heart."

Story time!

A young soldier was desperate to see the president of the United States. He paced up and down just in front of the gates of the white house deliberating. Finally, he gathered all the courage within him, and tried his luck to pass the guards.

Unfortunately, he was rejected. He was told that the president was in an important meeting and that he had no time to entertain the soldier.

Discouraged, he gave up and headed to the park just around the corner. Lost in his train of thoughts, completely oblivious to his surroundings, he shook his head, and started to weep.

This moment, a little boy approached him and questioned, "Are you all right, Sir?"

Troubled, the young soldier replied, "I have to see the president urgently, it's a matter of life and death. But the president is in a meeting and I am forbiddened to enter."

"Oh! The president? Follow me!"

Innocent as he was, the little boy grabbed the soldier's hand and dragged him along. All the way past the front gates, into the white house, and without even a slight knock, or a herald of his coming, he barged right into the room where the president's meeting took place.

Full of love and compassion, the president not only ceased all discussions, turned to face the little boy and enquired, "Yes, my son, what can I do for you?"

The little boy answered, "Daddy, this soldier has to see you immediately!"

The little boy is like Jesus, interceding for us in the presence of God. All we have to do, is seek Him, and we will find.

Picture time!

Credits to Spanks!

Butt family!

'cause when it comes to you,

there's nothing I can do.

I can't make you love me when you don't.

I see it your eyes,

I'm the compromise.

I can't take another slow goodbye.

Deviation

2009-07-17T12:04:00.002+08:00

I'm resolving to an alternative contrivance.

And I need you Lord, to walk through this with me. I am hopeless without you.

My prayer is that you would transform for the better.
If you take that tiny little step, God will cross the universes to get to you.
But the decision lies within you.
Everything would fall in place if you accept Him.
Please, I'm begging.

Alas! After what seemed like decades to me, I'm working on a new song! I shared this with Deliverance at our band meeting yesterday.

It was a really fruitful and heartfelt one. Indeed, our prayers were heard and instantly answered! How awesome is our God!

Guys, thanks a million for always being there. I know I have not been in the best of moods lately, but you guys never gave up. Thanks for your perseverance and understanding. I appreciate y'all.

"It is said, 'God stores up a man's punishment for his sons...
... Let his own eyes see his destruction; let him drink of the wrath of the Almighty. For what does he care about the family he leaves behind when his allotted months come to an end?"

Mentally isolated

2009-07-16T19:50:00.002+08:00

"I looked out the window. I was almost completely mentally isolated from what was happening...
...It was at this point that my last reserves of self-control - of holding myself together - finally evaporated. I inhaled a deep breath until my lungs felt they would burst, then I let out a long scream at the top of my voice. It was a screech, animal-like in its ear-splitting intensity, and it went on and on..."

I am so torn apart. That heart-wrenching scene of ___ is replaying over and over in my head. I am trying, to the best of my ability, to block out every ounce of it. But it's dripping like sweat, trickling down, tracing the outlines of my memory.

Why have I forked out my utmost best to help you but you're doing little to nothing in helping yourself and everyone around?

I am exhausted. Physically and mentally.

I quit.

If anyone can make me fall in love, only you can.
But you don't see it.

You belong with me

2009-07-16T13:19:00.002+08:00

You're on the phone with your girlfriend, she's upset
She's going off about something that you said
'cause she doesn't get your humour like I do

I'm in my room, it's a typical tuesday night
I'm listening to the kind of music she doesn't like
And she'll never know your story like I do

But she wears short skirts, I wear T-shirts
She's cheer captain, I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me
You belong with me

You walk in the streets with you and your worn-out jeans
I can't help thinking this is how it ought to be
Laughing on a park bench, thinking to myself
Hey isn't this easy?

And you've got a smile that could light up this whole town
I haven't seen it in awhile since she brought you down
You say you're fine
I know you better than that
Hey whatcha doing with a girl like that?

She wears high heels, I wear sneakers
She's cheer captain and I'm on the bleachers
Dreaming about the day when you wake up
And find that what you're looking for has been here the whole time

If you could see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me

Standing by and waiting at your back door
All this time how could you now know
Baby you belong with me
You belong with me

I remember you driving to my house in the middle of the night
I'm the one who makes you laugh
When you know you're about to cry
And I know your favourite songs
And you tell me about your dreams
I think I know where you belong
I think I know it's with me

Can't you see that I'm the one who understands you
Been here all along so why can't you see
You belong with me

Why can't I?

2009-07-15T13:10:00.002+08:00

Another day has gone,
I'm still all alone
How could this be,
you're not here with me

You never said goodbye,
someone tell me why
Did you have to go,
and leave my world so cold?
Everday I sit and ask myself,
how did love slip away

At a certain time of every month, I resort to underhand means to ___. Not elaborating.

Geography paper today! It was the best so far, I think. The rest were all killers. But this one was so smooth and easy-going. What can I say? My geog teachers are all awesome people.

And I have to confess, I did not study for the paper at all. I merely flipped through my notes and tried to convince myself I was reading/studying them when in actual fact, I was glancing through.

Haha, for the most part, it's no thanks to sissyyy!

I honestly need a brain wash. I don't want to remember the past 17 years of my life. The fastest and easiest way (it seems) to get it done, is by running across the road when millions of cars are zooming by. But noo, I'm not that desperate.

God will deliver me, and set me free from all these nightmares.

Your beautiful eyes, stare right into my eyes
And sometimes I think of you late at night
I don't know why
I wanna be somewhere where you are

I wanna be where,
you're here, your eyes are looking into mine
So baby, make me fly

So could you be my best friend,
before you call yourself my man?

"For you, O Lord, have delivered my soul from death,
my eyes from tears, my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before the Lord in the land of the living."

Take me to that secret place

2009-07-14T16:28:00.002+08:00

Dreams.

Sometimes they make you happy
Sometimes they make you cry
Sometimes they bring you joy
Sometimes they make you wanna die.

I'm feeling so 'zzzzzz' right now. I think my period's about to arrive.

Back then I swore I was gonna marry him someday
but I realized some bigger dreams of mine

"I know, O Lord, that a man's
life is not his own;
it is not for man to direct his steps."

Holy spirit come, please come

2009-07-13T15:16:00.002+08:00

You are the promised gift to us,
the counselor, the teacher in His ways

Biology paper today was crappy! It wasn't one of those papers where I'd go, "phew!" when it's over. This paper was more like a, "ohhhhhh craaaappp."

But math was fine! I could do like most of the questions except for the few really tough ones. Like coordinate geometry (yuck!) and the construction of weird figures.

I'm pretty satisfied and I must say, impressed, at how far I've come. Considering I never even knew what a 'perfect square number' was, or the 'lowest common multiple/highest common factor'.

Now I know all of them! YAY!

Before the start of the papers, I literally laid hands on the paper to pray. Haha, it might seem as being 'desperate' or 'dumb' to you but it indeed helped!

My God is big! So strong, so mighty!

"Nothing on this earth happens without God's permission."

My heart and my soul,
I give you control
Consume me from the inside out, Lord

Crappy china

2009-07-10T17:21:00.004+08:00

Yes, as you can tell from the title of this post, I'm about to pour out my sorrows here.

I had china oral for O's today and guess what? Yeah, you know.

It wasn't that fantastic, as always. But at least I did say a few pointers and not just stare blankly at the teacher trying to figure out what to say.

However, I kept repeating my sentences and I knew I made no sense. The frustrating part was that the teacher frowned like each time I repeated and said nonsensical rubbish!!!

Super depressing, but I'm gonna leave it up to God.

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

So yes, into your hands, Lord, I commit my O levels.

Hmm.

I think I'm a weird girl. When good things don't happen to me or befalls someone else, I think to myself, "I'm not worthy of that. I'm not good enough. It's just not going to happen onto me."

But when good things happen to me, I tell myself, "I don't deserve it. What have I done to be given such blessings? What have I done to prove that I'm worthy of this?"

Queer huh?

Well, that's me.

Just hold on

2009-07-07T16:10:00.004+08:00

It is the first day of school and I was late. Yes, late.

However, fortunately for me, I did not have to go for detention. Well, the counselor never asked for my card!

I have tons of stuff to do, like homework, draw up time table, study plan, etc etc, but I had to do this first.

I wrote this today, and it's dedicated to Pam.

I know it's been hard, all I'm asking is for you to share your burdens and pains with me, so that I'd experience half your sorrows and understand what you're going through. I want to walk through this with you and break down your load.

When the road gets too tough and there's nothing you can do
Look straight up and focus on God, He's always there for you
When you feel weary and distraught and at wits' end,
Just hold on; for your grieving heart He will definitely mend

When all that's left within you is fragments of misery
Don't give up; the one that will pull you through is He
It just takes a prayer to wash away the pain
Just hold on; believe that He will cast away the rain

When you feel heavy-hearted and downcast
Call upon His name and He will bring your troubles to past
Listen carefully for the voice of the King
Just hold on; for comfort and peace, to you, He will bring.

Deeshraf: "What time are you going to sleep?"

Me: "When my eyes are too tired to open... When my brain needs to start dreaming... When my mind need to take a rest... When my cells start to regenerate... When my organs need repairing... When my heart beat slows down... When my breathing deepens... When I'm off to dream land..."

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."

O Lord, You've searched me, You know my ways
In every season, I know You love me.

Lord I need You

2009-07-04T11:58:00.004+08:00

Have mercy on me, O God,
because of your unfailing love.

Because of your great compassion,
blot out the stain of my sins.

Wash me clean from my guilt.
Purify me from my sin.

For I recognize my shameful deeds-
they haunt me day and night.

Against you, and you alone, have I sinned;
I have done what is evil in your sight.

You will be proved right in what you say,
and your judgment against me is just.

For I was born a sinner-
yes, from the moment my mother conceived me.

But you desire honesty from the heart,
so you can teach me to be wise in my inmost being.

Purify me from my sins, and I will be clean;
wash me, and I will be whiter than snow.

Oh, give me back my joy again;
you have broken me - now let me rejoice.

Don't keep looking at my sins.
Remove the stain of my guilt.

Create in me a clean heart, O God.
Renew a right spirit within me.

Do not banish me from your presence,
and don't take your Holy Spirit from me.

Restore to me again the joy of your salvation,
and make me willing to obey you.

Then I will teach your ways to sinners,
and they will return to you.

Forgive me for shedding blood, O God who saves;
then I will joyfully sing of your forgiveness.

Unseal my lips, O Lord,
that I may praise you.

You would not be pleased with sacrifices,
or I would bring them.

If I brought you a burnt offering,
you would not accept it.

The sacrifice you want is a broken spirit.
A broken and repentant heart, O God,
you will not despise.

Look with favour on Zion and help her;
rebuild the walls of Jerusalem.

Then you will be pleased with worthy sacrifices
and with our whole burnt offerings;
and bulls will again be sacrificed on your altar.

I call Your name, Lord You reply
You bring Your kingdom and stand by my side
Giver of life, all that I need
Father You're everything precious to me

There is no one like You, Lord
In all the earth.

The tough get going

2009-07-03T11:38:00.002+08:00

I need to adjust back to my usual sleeping time! I've been waking up so late these days that I don't get to see the sunrise anymore!

Ok, I don't usually get to see the sunrise, but you get my point.

And since school is re-opening next week, I really need to do something about this.

So I spent the whole of yesterday trying to finish up all my online work. And finally at 11p.m. did I manage to finish everything! You have no idea, how pleased and relieved I was with myself.

Went for transformers with Deliverance, Darren and Bernice on Wednesday. Though I wasn't really that excited like everyone else, I still watched.

The whole week has been great, until today.

I'm saving the elaboration.

Shauna is leaving tonight! Oh gosh oh gosh oh gosh I'm gonna soak my face in my tears later on when we send her off. Five freaking long years. We'd be 22 by then! Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

It's hard to stand up again when you've lost the fight.
But I'm not gonna give in that easily, no, not tonight.
So when the going gets tough,
the tough get going.

O God, I need You right now. Could You please guide me? I'm blind without You; I've been a fool.

Soul tattoo

2009-06-25T19:27:00.012+08:00

I just reached home from daddy's office. Was there the whole afternoon with Best, Spanks, Ber and Ken. We studied and helped daddy pack some stuffs for the upcoming movie night.

Alright, besides that, I read a poem this morning, and it's really lovely, so I decided to share it with y'all.

"I got up early one morning and
rushed right into the day;
I had so much to accomplish that
I didn't have time to pray

Problems just tumbled about me,
and the heavier came each task.
"Why doesn't God help me?" I wondered.
He answered, "You didn't ask."

I wanted to see joy and beauty,
but the day toiled on, gray and bleak;
I wondered why God didn't show me.
He said, "But you didn't seek."

I tried to come into God's presence;
I used all my keys at the lock.
God gently and lovingly chided,
"My child, you didn't knock."

I woke up early this morning,
and paused before entering the day;
I had so much to accomplish
that I had to take time to pray."

And it got me thinking that I should pray before I enter each day.

So that's exactly what I did this morning. And the day couldn't seem to get any better. I've been in such high spirits and positive about everything. God really does work miracles in His ways.

A whole month of June has passed by within the blink of an eye. Soon, we'd all be heading back to school within a matter of days and we'd have to put up with exams and homework, and teachers, and rules and WAKING UP EARLY.

That's what scares me the most. The time that I wake up these days are all messed up and I'm still wondering how I'm gonna go about fixing that. Today I woke up at 8.30am. Yesterday I woke up at 10am. The day before I woke up at 11.30am.

Wait a minute, that seems to get earlier and earlier each day! Oh swell!

Maybe I'd wake up at 7am tomorrow morning. And then 6am on Saturday. And 5am on Sunday, and so on and so forth until I don't need sleeping anymore!

*Evil laugh*

Great, my stomach's grumbling so loudly, I can hear it even with the typing of the keyboard. The only thing I've eaten the whole day, is a pathetic slice of cake...

Toodles.

What's left of me

2009-06-23T11:52:00.002+08:00

Someone asked me a question last night, how come I never update my blog no more.

So yes, here I am, doing this for you, Wei Jian. Be honoured.

The first thing I did this morning after I woke up, was homework. I was supposed to have that lunch appointment with my Mom, Aunt and Cousin, but I was feeling too lazy.

Right now I'm halfway through this show:

Awake.

It's about a guy experiencing "anesthetic awareness", he was fully conscious during his surgery but he was completely paralysed. He could feel the pain but he could not speak, nor move his arms or legs.

I'm not done with it yet, but my guess is that he died. Well, if I were him, I know I'd just die. The pain would be unbearable! He was having a heart transplant, for pete's sake.

How'd you like it if someone sliced your chest, cut up your internal organs and take out your heart while you were alive?!

Ok, I don't know for sure if they did that, but I'm just saying.

Yeah so, it's a really interesting show and I can't wait to finish it. But I've gotta stop again and again to let it buffer, it's so annoying - that's why I'm here blogging, while waiting for it to load.

Oh yeah, and it stars Jessica Alba and Hayden Christensen. He's sooo charming. I love it when he smiles!

Alright enough about the show. I'm hooked onto this song, All In My Head, by Nick Lachey.

Satellites blasting through the universes
It's outta sight
It's all in my head
Saw your eyes
Sending me a message for the last time

Here alone
Holding on to something that I've never known
It's all in my head
I've crossed the line
There's no going back and there's no future

Tell me this isn't happening

She said she said
Said she wants to marry me
It's all in my head
That's just not reality
It's over it's over
Cause she said it's all in my head
It's all in my head

It's good, it's really good. You should listen to it.

Alright, I'm gonna go watch the remaining part of the show now.

Cheers!

God You're really amazing, You work in mysterious ways. You hear me when I'm in despair, You relieve all my sorrow and pain. You answered my prayers. You've left me speechless, I'm so grateful.

Yes, You are indeed just a prayer away. Thank You, Father.

What went wrong?

2009-06-19T09:45:00.004+08:00

The past few days were not the best I've had, probably even one of the worsts. But, I survived.

The previous night I was on the phone with two butts till 2a.m in the morning, the ones that never let me down, always there lifting my spirits whenever I fall - or am falling. Thanks holes, I know you got my back.

Yesterday was..........................................................
I have completely no idea at all how to describe it.

Something's taking over me, I'm having all these wild thoughts and imaginations.
And it leads me to places where I've tried with all my might to avoid and block out whenever I'm falling in that realm. I need to get out, I need a break. I need to run away, I need to feel ME again.

You took my hand
You showed me how
You promised me
You'd be around
I took your words
And I believed
In everything
You said to me

If someone said three years from now
You'd be long gone
I'd stand up and punch them out
Cause they're all wrong
I know better
Cause you said forever
And ever
Who knew

WHO KNEW?

Change my heart O God make it ever true.
Change my heart O God may I be like You.

Butterfly fly away

2009-06-06T09:29:00.003+08:00

So I'm working on a new song. It's entitled 'His Plan' and it's gonna be great. Something similar to 'I'll Be There', but the storyline is different.

Anywayzzz, I've been neglecting school work and home work sooooo much that I don't even remember where I placed my work. Dang I need to do something about it. I'm in such a relaxed mood, and I don't wanna do anything, shit.

We've been having exams after exams, tests after tests, and it's never gonna end. I honestly cannot imagine myself having to undergo any more of this stress.

That's why writing songs help me to de-stress! And I'll write as many as I want, and there's nothing you can do about it. (Backside)

I watched the Hannah Montana show on Thursday and it was goooooooooooooooooooood. I've downloaded a few songs from the movie and it found its way to my heart. But I'm especially in love with the one called 'Butterfly Fly Away'. It's mainly about her father, and what he does and what he says to her etc etc.

You tucked me in turned out the light
Kept me safe and sound at night
Little girls depend on things like that

Brushed my teeth and combed my hair
Had to drive me everywhere
You were always there when I looked back

You had to do it all alone
Make a living, make a home
Must have been as hard as it could be

And when I couldn't sleep at night
Scared things wouldn't turn out right
You would hold my hand and sing to me

Caterpillar in the tree, how you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream
Wish you may and wish you might
Don't you worry hold on tight
I promise you there will come a day
Butterfly fly away
Butterfly fly away

Flap your wings now you can't stay
Take those dreams and make them all come true
Butterfly fly away
We've been waiting for this day
All along and know just what to do

Butterfly
Butterfly
Butterfly
Butterfly
Butterfly fly away

"Life without your friendship is like the sky without the sun."

I need a heart transplant.

Benefits of Wisdom

2009-05-28T12:41:00.003+08:00

We've managed to record 'You Are' nicely and it sounds pretty good judging by the fact that we recorded it ourselves. It's my latest song, one of the nicest, and also the first to be recorded properly! It's only the first half of the song though, we didn't think it would turn out this great. So we'd be doing it again, and this is just a demo!

It's not the best quality but it's by far, the best we had. We spent quite some time trying to figure out how Ken's laptop worked so this is really the fruit of our labour!

We had to record each instrument at a time, and it was really time consuming but we're glad with the end products. The difference between the acoustic and edited version is huge!

Hope you enjoy it.

Deliverance - You Are (demo).MP3 - Deliverance

It's quite soft, so turn up your volume! And I also realise they only last for half a second. But you can click here for the full song!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."

I will learn to place my trust completely in You. Please take my life into Your hands, I want to live according to Your plans. I commit my life wheel to You. I pray, O Lord, that You will continue to teach me. Help me grow in You. Amen.

The Desire Of My Heart

2009-05-25T17:38:00.004+08:00

Yes, You are my rock. You are my shield. You are my comfort. You are my benefactor. You are my saviour. You are my life. You are my love. You are my everything. You are my best friend. You are my Lord.

Yes, You are.

God has been so real in my life for the past week or so. He pulled me out of the ordeal I was going through. The torment I'd suffered. The misery I'd endured. He placed the best of all people around me to be with me for that period of time. And I'm extravagantly grateful.

So I wrote a song. For, to, about and of Him.

You Are.MP3 - Abigail

Your hand; it protects me
Your word; it comforts me
Your shelter; it shields me
Your love; it heals me

Your light; it guides me
Your wings; they carry me, oh,
Your grace; it changes me
Your power; it sets me free

Into Your presence
I taste Your grace
Into Your courts
I see Your face
Now I surrender
All up to You
To live my life
In spirit and in truth

Chorus
Jesus, You are
All that I need
Jesus, You are

Jesus, You are
My only desire
You are, You are

Without You, I am nothing.

I drive myself crazy

2009-05-17T17:53:00.004+08:00

Lately I've been having these taunting dreams. They replay over and over in my head ceaselessly and it's burning a hole inside of me. I'm constantly reminded of the past, everything about it. Where I started from, and how it ended. Now I'm haunted. And I can't let go.

"I cry out to You, Father. Your grace is sufficient for me. Fall afresh on me, heal me on the inside. I commit my life into Your hands once more."

Lying in your arms
So close together
Didn't know just what I had
Now I toss and turn
Cause I'm without you
How I'm missing you so bad

Where was my head
Where was my heart
Now I cry alone in the dark

I lie awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do

I was such a fool
I couldn't see it
Just how good you were to me
You confessed your love
Undying devotion
I confessed my need to be free

And now I'm left
With all this pain
I've only got myself to blame

I lie awake
I drive myself crazy
Drive myself crazy
Thinking of you
Made a mistake
When I let you go baby
I drive myself crazy
Wanting you the way that I do

Why didn't I know it
How much I loved you baby
Why couldn't I show it
If I had only told you
When I had the chance
Oh I had the chance

I lie awake,
I drive myself crazy,
drive myself crazy,
thinking of you.
Made a mistake,
when I let you go baby,
I drive myself crazy,
wanting you the way that I do

I'm reminded of you.

Mayday frenzy

2009-05-02T10:18:00.002+08:00

It is Saturday and I'll be staying home to muggggg. Unbelievable? Believe it.

Partly 'cause I spent the whole of yesterday out with the bottoms gang.

We met early to get stuffs for Butt Cheek a.k.a Kenneth. Man, that dude honestly needs a lot of new necessities.

Then, jamming!

How long has it been since we last went?! Yesterday's session was satisfying and fruitful. Managed to try all the songs that are complete, and recorded it down. I'm still trying to figure out how to convert it, but when I do, it'll be uploaded here for y'all to listen! So patience, my friend!

Now for pictures...

While waiting for the room.

Sending Buttcheek off... (Please don't puke, I know I look horribly awful)

The bottoms family. Left to right: Buttcrack, buttcheek, backside, anushole.

After which, we headed to Marina Square to meet Sissy, then macs-ed.

Then we decided to go to the Singapore Flyer to check out the Christian Cafe. We managed to find a bar...but no Christian Cafe.

Then we sat down at some area with this stage and everyone started imagining our own concert.

And then started snapping away!

First attempt:

Failed! Hand too short ah... Couldn't fit everyone into the lens.

Second try, this time with spanks taking the picture.

Check out Best, he had to sweep my hair away!

I had no idea this was supposed to be a serious shot. Pardon me.

Hiding behind Best (haha)

Arab?

My favourite photo!

This would be the new band photo. But without K & R :(

Caaaaaaaaaaandid. I look like I just went mad.

Can you point out the spoilers?

FINALLY

Gaying around

Fetish for shoes. Men's shoes.

Mommy?

And that's all for today, ladies and gentlemen, until next time, don't forget to check out the songs! See ya soon, goodbye!

Chinese China Cheena

2009-04-28T13:46:00.003+08:00

It's 2p.m. and I'm home blogging!

Had China prelims this morning, it was generally fine, not too bad and not too good. I was very lethargic throughout the paper though, couldn't concentrate. Took 15-20mins to read one passage! How pathetic is my China...

AHH I AM PISSED I AM SO SO SO PISSED.

My brother just stepped through the main door. And the first thing I realised, was the additional scars on his arm. Apparently, a violent, impulsive, barbaric, ill-mannered, uncivilised classmate of his scratched him again. Note, AGAIN. Meaning this has not happened once, or twice, but THRICE.

His arm is not for you to vent your anger on, little missy. What have your parents been teaching you? Makes me even wonder whether they DO teach you. How would you like it if I scarred you for life? Likewise, my brother would feel the same way.

I am so furious that I'm about to stomp into the school's general office and demand that the form teacher calls her (oh yes, it's a HER) parents down. I may have closed an eye about this the first or second time, but NO, little miss barbarian strikes again!

I am honestly dying to know whether the school is even doing something about her violent tendencies. Seems like the school hasn't been paying much attention to such issues, which also adds on to my anger.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Okay, I need to calm down.

Alright! No point in getting so worked up given that she's gonna get it bad anyway.

So I had lunch with Andrew and David last week, and we had such a great time hanging out together. We should totally do this more often.

David GDW

Andrew LCY (It's so dark you can't see his face! I'm convinced it's because of the lighting)

Abigail THL! (Hehehehe)

Andrew hiding behind David thinking he'll be able to avoid the camera. Futile efforts, my friend.

David and I! With Andrew in the background haha.

Oh, and here comes the funny part!

As I was waving goodbye to them, I bumped into a pillar on the back. And they thought it was funny to imitate me!

I know, I have friends who like to make fun of me. But I have learnt the art of tolerance!

This is the way they say goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye, this is the way they say goodbye, all day long~

So now for my weekend:

Pasir Ris Park with the Tan clan without the head of the clan.

Feeling lazy waiting for the youngest of the clan to finish riding his bicycle.

After braces.

Ponies!

I have more pictures, but the rest are all random so I've decided not to post them lest you fall asleep scrolling down this looong post.

So, this is goodbye now!

"The righteousness of the upright delivers them, but the unfaithful are trapped by evil desires."

O Lord, hear my cry, bestow upon me Your wisdom, Your knowledge, Your ways, Father, I want to be more and more like You. I'm desperate for You O God.

Band Meeting

2009-04-23T19:10:00.003+08:00

Band meeting again. Although we tried out I'll Be There with all three guitars, it was kinda hard to piece it all together nicely. Best, Spanks, Tim, you guys know what to do. (*flashes teeth*)

The following pictures are in sequence, which shows Roy, the lil' boy, savoring that tiny piece of Fudge cake that satisfied his taste buds.

Ahhh...

Ooooh...

Ohhhh...

Hee...

Mmm...

And there you have it.

Anyway, half way during the session, Roy noticed Best sitting in an awkwardly hilarious position.

Get ready for it!

See! Check out his feet! I have no idea how he does it, but, SUPER funny right!!

Closer view. It's blurred due to my shaking arms as a result of uncontrollable laughter.

Even better view!! Can see? Hilarious right!! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

Tim: "I want my mummy!" (Then proceeds on to take pillow and hide his face in this position)

This time round, I asked each of them to share two takes on this whole meeting thing. I have concluded that we should spend our time more wisely when we can, which means to leave the music aside, and focus on other stuffs like writing songs together etc, and work on it again when we have the time and right venues.

I'm sorry I haven't been planning this well guys, band meeting is always neglected 'cause of schoolwork, and I apologize. Your opinions have been taken into consideration and I'll definitely improve. Thanks for all your contribution.

Last but not least, you matter as long as you're part of this, no matter what role/part you play. Thus, I urge you to step forth and shine.

Photo of the day:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I just love this.

"O my God, incline Your ear and hear; open Your eyes and see our desolations, and the city which is called by Your name;"

Lord, make me assuredly Yours.

You're the reason that keeps me smiling.

Deliverance

2009-04-18T16:32:00.002+08:00

Another song written, entitled "Deliverance". Yes, our band's name.

Walking the path of righteousness
I see Your glory shining through
To me You have gently called
To serve genuinely and obey You

So I lay down my life at Your feet
For the glory that You have given me
Show me Your great magnificence
For I will assist Your call in deliverance

Chorus:
You bore the sin and pain;
Bravely endured the suffering
Took all the price; the shame
You were the guilt offering

Now I surrender all to You;
The way, the life, the truth
And I give my life to be
All you want; so the world will see

And it repeats!

Revelations

2009-04-18T08:18:00.002+08:00

I woke up early this morning just in time for school when it struck me, that IT'S SATURDAY!
And Hallelujah there is no schooooooooooooooooooooooooool!

Anyway! I found something that aids in the uploading of my pictures and now I can post them for y'all to seeeeeee! Happy not?!

Alright, so from the oldest to the latest.

My lil' cuzzie.

One word: Adorable!

He loves posing for the camera.

ROOOAAAAAAR I'M GONNA EAT YOU

Band meeting day!

Best: "I'm glowing!"

Tim: (Laughs like mad)

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

(Still laughing hysterically)

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Doesn't this picture just make you wanna laugh until your "EYEBALLS POP OUT"?!

Random nice blue sky with breathtaking clouds on the way to school, early one morning.

And finally!

Haaaaiiiiirrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

I know you'd probably be laughing right now, so, this ends here!

And they cried with a loud voice, saying, "How long, O Lord, holy and true, until You judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?"
I'm forever yours.

It was you and me against the world

2009-04-14T17:34:00.002+08:00

Time is passing by really quickly this year. It is already the fourth month, and it seems as though CNY was just yesterday! But anyway, this is going to be a lengthy post, so brace yourself!

First of all, I miss my phone! I can't wait for the 2nd of March, when I'll be getting back my phone. I haven't seen Mr Tan to sign the 'form' though, I hope it doesn't play a part in me retrieving back my phone. Gah!

I can't wait for O levels because I've been planning on the stuff we'll be doing after O's!

It's only April and we're getting so much work and tests and everything! It's crazy enough that we have tons of homework already, now we're getting tests every day! Oh gosh. Two tests tomorrow, two tests on Thursday and another two on Friday!! I'm going crazy!!

Previous band meeting was completely crazy! We ended up confessing our deepest darkest secrets and all. It was overall helpful, 'cause we need to draw closer to each other on a deeper level if we're gonna make this thing work out. I totally encourage more bonding sessions! Tomorrow's meeting is another bonding session! Although we're gonna be missing Best, he'll catch up. I know he will. (Best, don't let me down!)

Oh and I cut my hair!!

The last but most significant, I AM UTTERLY DISAPPOINTED THE MANAGEMENT FORBID ME TO GET ARCHIE'S AUTOGRAPH!

Apparently my CD wasn't the Singapore version. Like what on earth is that supposed to mean?!
Obviously Music Junction's fault to blame! (That is where I purchased the CD from.) I got cheated of my money and time and effort and energy and ahhhhhhhhhhh!

And so what if my CD isn't the Singapore version?! I was like DYING to meet him and I had to go through a lot of shit to get there OK! Stupid management breaking the fragile hearts of so many fans! Outrageous!!

And and and, why on earth did they hold the stupid session there?! That new shopping centre is like small, and cramped, and aiya, basically the whole structure of the building made it so impossible to get a good view of him. And they should know that he has many fans!! So why hold it in such a congested area?!?!?!

OK, I am stopping here. My blood is boiling far too much.

Anyway, I've got tons of photos to upload but I still can't find the USB cable! Grr, that annoying thing is plucking my nerves.

And this song has been stuck in my head for the longest period of time ever.

Unbeautiful by Lesley Roy.

The lyrics are awesome.

Don't hang up,
Can we talk?
So confused
It's like im lost.
What went wrong?
what made you go?
Don't pretend you don't know
This is me
Im unchangeable

When did we
Fall apart?
Or did you lie
From the start?
When you said
Its only you
I was blind
Such a fool
Thinking we
Were unbreakable

It was you and me against the world
And you promised me forever more
Was it something that I said?
was it something that I did?
Cuz I gotta know
What made me unbeautiful.

Ive been told
Whats done is done
To let it go
And carry on
And deep inside
I know that's true
Im stuck in time
Im stuck on you
We were still untouchable

It was you and me against the world
And you promised me forever more.
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I did?
Cuz I gotta know
What made me unbeautiful

Wake up, wake up, wake up
Cuz im only dreaming
Get out, get out, get out
Get out of my head now

Because we're much better
All together
Can't let go.

It was you and me against the world
And you promised me forever more
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I did?
Cuz I gotta know
What made me unbeautiful

It was you and me against the world
And you promised me forever more
Was it something that I said?
Was it something that I did?

Cuz I gotta know
What made me unbeautiful
Made me unbeautiful...

Alright, I'm gonna go mug for my tests for the next few days now.

Maybe we're friends,
maybe we're more,
maybe it's just my imagination,
but I see you stare,
just a little too long,
and it makes me start to wonder,
so baby call me crazy,
but I think you feel it too,
maybe I, maybe I, just gotta get next to you.

Caught in the middle

2009-04-03T16:54:00.005+08:00

It is FINALLY the weekends! This week seemed to pass by pretty slowly. But it's finally Friday and it's the the one of the best days of weekdays!

I went through a lot of shit this week and Imma break it down for you.

Despite being all lethargic and exhausted, Monday and Tuesday was fine, on the whole. You'd agree with me when you've heard what other shit I had to go through.

Above all else, Wednesday was definitely the best day of the week. Not because it was April Fools' Day, but because we had band meeting, and it was absolutely fruitful.

The vision we have is going to change lives, rock nations and transform generations. And all this is for the glory of God.

So then came Thursday, crappy Thursday. The day after April Fools' Day. The day everyone forgot about April Fools'. The day when I was grateful it was a Thursday. The day when I was happy it was going to be weekends soon. And also, the day I got my phone confiscated.

Yes, unless you have got your phone confiscated before, you will never understand how I felt. And this is how it happened.

The bell had rung from Bio lesson to Math, and since Bio was at the ground level and Math at the fourth, we had to climb a flight of stairs. Halfway through the third storey, I decided to check the time, since we had a Math test on Matrices and I really didn't wanna miss even a minute of it. Thus, I reached for my phone and took it out for 3 secs to check for the time. The next thing I knew, "Girl, give me that phone."

Dang, you have no idea how that felt. Even after I passed my phone to her, I could not accept anything. I was so stunned that it happened so quickly. Taken aback, I stood there for 3mins to absorb in the whole situation.

It affected my mood during the test and I could not concentrate at all. It sucked really badly, but well, I'm learning to accept it. I've got loads of things to rant about about this incident, but I've decided not to. Because I'm gonna have faith.

Alright next up.

I'd like to clarify with everyone, that we as Christians, are not perfect. Although we do seek perfection through Christ, we are not. And that is why we are MEN. Not God.

I wouldn't say anything else. But I hope you understand.

Okay, I do not wish to ramble on any longer, lest I say some stuff that I should not be saying. So, this post ends here.

Dear God, forgive them for they know not what they're doing. Let not our will, but Yours be done.

Faith as David

2009-03-31T17:17:00.002+08:00

Life has been really great lately. I guess it's a get older-and-mature thing. I honestly never saw what was in store for me. God really works miracles! And the most marvelous fact of it all, is that He had it all planned out.

Took a break from school work last weekend and headed to Sentosa! It was a win-win thing, 'cause I had to check out the place for our Good Friday event as well. It was absolutely fun, and of course, painful - sunburns!!

I guess I'm not gonna spend more time on the computer, I've got loads of POA to catch up on. But here's a little something I've written which best describes my life and how I feel at this point of time.

Flipping through these pictures,
memories flood my head,
not me not you neither,
lived through with what we said.

Somehow we had promised,
together a life in bliss,
but those vows never came true,
'cause you and I are so through.

But now that I see the light,
everything seems to be so right,
it was something that I didn't see,
that you were just not the one for me.

Now I've found a whole new,
something that wasn't due,
'till now when it's all right,
someone else to hold me tight.

He was someone I never saw,
someone who was there all along,
He knows every little thing,
when I'm happy or even hurting.

He knows my every thought,
He picks me up whenever I drop,
He's someone whom I can love,
He's the one that's way up above.

Now I know what love means,
it isn't what I've always been feeling,
Now I know this new love's true,
He does things you never did do.

He turned my life to a whole new point,
flipped my entire world around just like a coin,
He's always there every how and every where,
sorrowful memories of my past He will tear.

He is my everything and all,
and because of Him, now I stand tall.

Hey Y'ALL

2009-03-19T18:35:00.002+08:00

Guess what, I'm in a good mood! So you're in for a treat. Ok, maybe not, 'cause there's nothing much for you, but whatever.

This week has been pretty damn fun I must say, probably explains the good mood. Although yesterday was horrible, but today made up for it! Nothing beats chillin' with good friends.

So monday I had tuition as usual and spent the whole day sleeping and lazing around the house. Tuesday was cycling with Stel, Spanks, Best, Tim, Roy, STAR (*eyebrows go up and down*), and Best's thai friend, Golf. Then we headed to Ken's house for home-made pizza! (For photos, please proceed to Best's blog.) Wednesday was horrible, but today's great! Went to Ken's house again. We made pizza again, but it didn't taste as good as tuesday's, 'cause we got a different flavoured prego sauce! And today's pizza was really filling, there were even leftovers!

I've got tons of pictures to upload but you know what? I'm not gonna share it with you.

Yes you.

Not happy ah?

The truth is, I misplaced my USB cable and now I can't upload anything from my phone, much less download anything into it! Pitiful - I know! *sad face*

Alright so we just gotta wait patiently for it to mysteriously come back to me - Amen!

I may not have the softest touch,
I may not say the words as such,
And though I may not look like much,
I'm yours.

And though my edges maybe rough,
I'll never feel I'm quite enough,
And it may not seem like very much,
But I'm yours.

I await the day we're together again.

The Past Week

2009-03-15T17:10:00.003+08:00

I haven't been blogging consistently - I know.

Blame it on school, as always. I've had so much things going on lately that I don't even remember when was the last time I saw sissy (with the exception of today).

So now, quick update!

Monday
School as usual, tuition, blah blah blah.

Tuesday
School then practice, till late. Reached home about 8. Extremely exhausted.

Wednesday
Here comes the break down. Went to school normal in the morning but then a fever came on. So went to see a doc, and had two days MC. Missed practice.

Thursday
Missed school. Went for practice. G12 Conference (awesome).

Friday!
The big day! The day we've all been waiting for for what seemed like decades away! Ok, I'm exaggerating, but you get my point?
We had this seminar in school, then we had Dining Etiquette session. Everyone dressed up beautifully.

Only one pathetic photo for you - I didn't bother to start snapping away 'cause Dining Etiquette wasn't my main focus for the day.
Oh but anyway, this is Wei Jian and I.

So then came the time for the long awaited event. I had to give the food and the Dining session a miss, but it was worth it for Project Revival. Everyone was complaining how I'd wasted my money but it never bothered me one bit.

During the event, many things happened. I was so encouraged that everything fell into place so perfectly. The presence of the Holy Spirit was so strong and complete amongst us. I could not contain myself, so I looked up and cried out to the heavens. I thanked God for everything that He had done for that night. I knew that He was equally as excited about it as we were. The response that we had gotten was far beyond expectations and everything was just perfect. I marveled at the awesomeness of our Heavenly Father. Something happened to me for the very first time that night, and I was overwhelmed with joy.

The greatest gift to all mankind, is the wonderful cross.

********************************************************************************

I know the devil has been attacking my mind lately. Making me think about things that I don't want to. I've been reprimanding myself for the past few hours over and over, I don't want to put myself in that constant torture and horrible struggle again.

And I will definitely apply what Pastor Caesar preached about during this Conference about Jesus' blood and DNA. And I know the devil cannot touch me for Jesus is my protection!

You know I can't smile without you

2009-03-03T18:05:00.002+08:00

I am a happy happy happy girl!

Why?

'cause my hard work and prayers paid off! For this recent common test, I managed to pass everything except Chinese! (We all can tell) The difference with N's and O's is wide and I'm really glad this is a good start.

This is such a good encouragement for me, I'm beginning to loosen up. Yay!

So Stella and I were having our usual conversation when she said,
Stella: "I want to go home and study for O levels."

Me: (stares at her)

So gan jiong!

Ok, so now about my past week. One word: AWESOME

Weekdays were boring and ugh, but then the weekends made up for it.

Saturday

Jamming. Jamming. Jamming. Jamming. Jamming. Jamming. Jamming. Jamming. Jamming.

Tim. Looking irritated 'cause we took fifteen minutes to set up equipments.

Spanks, Best.

Best, Kenneth.

So we happily made our way out of the studio, only to find it pouring heavily. And we sat at the coffee shop for reeeeaaalllyyyyy long.

Don't ask.

Artistic right????? :D Spanks randomly snapped and voila!

So after the rain stopped, we headed to the train station.

Best had to be somewhere so Kenneth left as well.

And Spanks, Tim and I went for Sushi! :D

HAHAHA

Candid. Real candid.

Dhoby Ghaut's Sakae Sushi.

Halfway during our meal, Spanks ordered some roll for me. And when I saw how much veg there was in it, I whined. And...

Operation veg removal!

Me: "Okay lah, enough already lah, aiyo."

Spanks and Tim: (Among themselves) "Cannot cannot, later she sack us."

So they continued digging and digging for every strand of veg!

Seemed like they enjoyed.

Still digging...

STILL DIGGING... (So clean already still searching)

Then I had a bite...

And the seaweed was like plastic! Couldn't break/cut/tear it with my teeth!

Spanks: "Maybe they gave you the one on display!"

Then we headed home.

Photos of the year:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Rainbow! Can see can see?

"Blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the ungodly"

Faith

2009-02-26T17:00:00.002+08:00

School is dreadful. Why can't we have Monday to Fridays as weekends and Saturdays and Sundays for school? I'm not loving Thursdays. Although I gotta say, today was kick-assingly FUN. I haven't laughed so hard in...HOW LONG?

And yesterday's Benjamin Button show was the best thing that has happened so far since the beginning of 2009. (So now you know how boring my life is. Save me!)

I'm gonna stuff my face with millions of pillows (okay, maybe not) now and get some sleep 'cause I'm having an excruciating headache and I just walked home in the rain. Oh and Stel, rotten banana!

Toodles!

Dear God, give me the faith and obedience as Abraham, wisdom as Solomon and determination and strength as David.

I'm being an ahole

2009-02-18T17:41:00.002+08:00

First of all, thanks sissy for having the bushy-est eyebrows ever.

Thanks Stella, for constantly burping into my face.

Thanks Bryan, for being so bouncy.

Thanks Spanks, for being so fair.

Thanks Sirbest - my want!

Thanks Clarence, for sucking so much.

Thanks Meng chao, for being Meng chao.

Thanks Darren, for being Domo.

Thanks Pam, I love you.

Thanks Jo, thanks Kai, for that drawing of me.

Thanks Andrew, for making me change my mind about Robert Pattinson.

(Omg, I totally miss my hair.)

Thanks Jiahao, Nicholas - bet you don't know I have this photo!

Thanks Joey, for spinning me for five rounds today.

Last but the most significant...

I LOVE YOU DAVID.

... If you're not mentioned here, I just don't have your photo. Might probably have misplaced it. Or I flushed it down the toilet bowl. Or stuffed it up someone else's anus. Or even ate it. Who knows?

I hate this so effing much I wanna slit a tiny hole in my throat and bleed to death, sounds completely enticing.

What a bummer!

2009-02-16T19:53:00.002+08:00

So as you all know, my monotonous life revolves around school - and school only.
Hence, I have been very deprived of many other things. Like say, for example, THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON!!!

I have been waiting so long for that show and when it is finally out, I can't dig out time to watch it!

Moreover, I am in the midst of common tests which would end only next week, which means I have to wait another friggin' week more!

But somehow, I am more interested in common tests! See, that's why I'm even waiting for it to end. Tell me I'm a good girl!

I honestly don't know what else to blog about, since my life is practically filled to the brim with nothing but school work. I'm turning into a geek!

So you know what, this post ends here. I apologize for the lack of content! But I'm gonna go do more math (heeheehee) and more ss and geog now. And Stella, you can kiss your left-jiao-leg goodbye! It has been working out, girl!

~~Completely clueless, is this what I want?~~

Baby, you're my sugar rush

2009-02-03T19:54:00.004+08:00

YAY I FINALLY HAVE THE TIME TO BLOG.

Are you happy? You'd better be happy, 'cause I'm overjoyed.

I am starting to see the difference in last year and this year's work, and I must say, it's really a huge jump. Now I know why the teachers encourage those who got 10points for Nlevels to go to ITE. I would have recommended the same if I knew.

Now you know why I'm sucked dry of my energy and brain juice.

It's killing me, tests after tests, and we don't even have time to self study on the topics we've learnt. I am really looking forward to the march hols. Even a day to revise on what has been dumped onto me so far, is honestly helpful.

However, I'm glad my math has improved tremendously. From someone who totally ignores the teacher and never touches any math AT ALL to receiving 22/25 for a recent class test.
AREN'T YOU PROUD? Heeheeheeheehee.

I deliberated much about dropping chinese so I can focus on the rest of my (what I feel) more important subjects. But then again, I think I'd rather not. So I'm gonna work hard for cheeeenaaaa too! Yay, wish me luck!

Alrightey, this post ends here. Gotta soak myself in school work now. Adios Amigos!

Random.

2009-01-22T17:56:00.002+08:00

It's 6o'clock in the evening and I am feeling like crap.

Yes, like crap.

You want to know why? Because I am dying of exhaustion. School has sucked all the 'energy-juice' out of me and I feel like I'm about to fall into zombie mode any time soon. As soon as I reached home this evening, I collapsed - literally - onto the floor right at the doorstep and laid there for about 15 mins before I managed to drag my reluctant ass off the floor.

Alright, so nothing much has been happening lately. 'Cept that I found a new inspiration! Plus the fact that he's hot and handsome too! And guess what, someone posted somewhere that he looks like my Archie!! Don't believe?

http://images.google.com.sg/imgres?imgurl=http://reidgreven.files.wordpress.com/2008/03/david-a-2.jpg&imgrefurl=http://reidgreven.wordpress.com/2008/03/04/separated-at-birth/&usg=__7suF0D9VVWigod-su60NHDF_dYw=&h=300&w=400&sz=38&hl=en&start=3&um=1&tbnid=magEG-k_7XCY_M:&tbnh=93&tbnw=124&prev=/images%3Fq%3DKristian%2BStanfill%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN

I have a thing for talented guys! Hehehehehe...

So you want to know how that dashing young lad looks like?

Handsome hor??? But this picture abit small ah...

Go check out his voice too! It's simply amazingly BEE-A-U-TI-FUL.

Ok, gotta run. My homework's calling out to me. I feel guilty for having wasted approximately 30mins sitting infront of the computer typing this now. Alright, homework... Here I come!

The first cut is the deepest

2009-01-06T17:51:00.002+08:00

Hello all you earthlings, I have a HUGE announcement to make.

I AM STILL STICKING TO DAVID ARCHULETA.

Nobody's gonna love me better, imma stick with you forever
Nobody's gonna take me higher, imma stick with you
You know how to appreciate me, imma stick with you my baby
Nobody ever made me feel this way, imma stick with you...

Now that I speak with a clear mind... I finally realised that Robert Pattinson was a 3-min-hot thing. I admit he's hot la okay, but I'd still want a guy like David Archuleta! The whole package man, love his style, his voice, his personality, his eeeverrrryyyythinggggggg.

He's just the best, and I know now that no one can replace him! (Okay, that sounded like I actually knew him.) Not to mention the fact that, (I heard from Andrew, have yet to google it out) Robert Pattinson is BISEXUAL. *Gasp*

I am not sure that he really is, but Andrew's a trustworthy person.

SO HOW? EDWARD CULLEN LIKES TO STICK HIS BANANA INTO MEN'S A.HOLES. (According to Andrew, again.)

I don't have much time to check these things out. School has already started, and I'm taking miserable O's this year. I'm so thankful I could even fork out the time to post this!

SO... Andrew has been my source of information. (Hope he's giving right ones.)

But whatever, my point is: I love David Archuleta period.

Archiekins = love.

Get the picture? Alright. Great. Wonderful. Awesome. Marvellous. Excellent. HALLELUJAH.

Now I have something to rant about...

I HAD FREAKING DETENTION ON THE SECOND DAY OF SCHOOL.

Why?

'Cause of late coming. And what's even more enraging is the fact that I wasn't the one who was late. Apparently my parents always seem to be ready much later than me, even though they often stress the point to be 'wearing-your-shoes' by 6.45am.

So they drove me to school and dropped me off at the other end of the school thinking that the back gate (a long walk away from where they dropped me) was still open. However, I noticed the student counsellor was locking up the gate even though she SAW ME RUNNING. And when I eventually reached before her very eyes, she told me to "go in from the front". I pleaded with her and even reasoned out that by the time I reached there it would definitely have closed.

And she just cut me off with, "No, you have to go in from the front."

You have no idea how furious I was, but I decided to let it go anyway.

So yes, I sat in the detention room for two whole hours and fifteen minutes (because the OM was late, grrr) which caused my butt to ache and my bladder to deteriorate. I had to hold on to the pee that was oncoming even though I was very urgent. What to do when you get shit thrown in your face?

Phew, I am glad I got everything out. I'm sorry for the really wordy post, school started already, no more pictures!

But here's one for you to drool over:

:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O:O

Now now, let's not forget that HE'S MINE. Okay?

"But the way of the wicked is like deep darkness; they do not know what makes them stumble."

All in the name of Jesus!

2008-12-31T12:33:00.002+08:00

Just came back from our awesome malaysia trip last weekend. It was awesome because I had a great time, and I can't remember when was the last time I was that happy. Even so, malaysia isn't the kinda place that I'd want to live in. I'm so thankful for Singapore.

So the food was great, hotel was even better. But the people there were... Hmm, confusing. I've learnt something valuable from this trip, 'Never judge a book by its cover.'

What I experienced was: People whom I thought could be trusted, could not. And those I thought cannot, could. Alright, enough of this. Now for pictures!

HAHAHAHAHA

See the 'S' there?

So while we stopped by some roadside stall to have durian, I spotted something:

Starestarestarestarestarestarestarestarestarestarestarestarestarestarestarestarestare

I'm sorry but these are the only few pictures I have with me now, because my phone died on the first day and I did not bring the charger. The cam's with someone else so I can't upload those photos!

ANYWAY, me, spanks and sissy caught Twilight yesterday and I'm even more in love with Rob. P now. (Other than Archie, he's still awesome.)

HE'S MY NEW LOVE!

Spanks, Blue, Sissy and everyone else is going to jump for joy after reading this.
I bet they'd go celebrate this day or something.

But whatever, yes I love Robert Pattinson 'cause he's drop-dead gorgeously sexy. He makes my heart race by the seconds whenever I see pictures of him, makes my breathing go haywire, makes my head go groggy and makes me melt like crazy.

However, I still dig David Archuleta. His voice is da bomb, and he's just the cuttest thing.

Ok, so now, brace yourselves for something so amazing your eyes could pop out.

The Hottest:

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

I swear I am going to dream of him every night. Dream of him as my Edward Cullen.

Oh crap, *hyperventilates*

Sometimesithurtssobadjustthinkingofeverything.

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."

Dear Lord, everything I do is for You.

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound

2008-12-22T18:59:00.002+08:00

Last saturday was a wonderful day! Went to SAF Yacht Club to join the leaders on their retreat. We had games, worship, word, and more games, and more word and then I had the honour of sharing my life testimony! I was so nervous I could hear my voice breaking with every sentence.

But God helped me through it, and I am really glad that they were touched by it! I hope this would turn their hearts to the future generations, as mine is.

So here are some pictures of the lovely place!

See the guy there? Emo-ing.

This was a perfectly good shot and the dustbin had to ruin it!

This is my favourite photo!

I can so be a photographer. :D

Anyway! While Shauna and I were doing a jump shot, she accidentally kicked her slipper into the sea!

You see?

And it drifted away... Then she got so tempted to throw the other one in as well since she saw no point in having only one slipper of that pair.

SUNDAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO SPENCER TEO

Yes, as you can see, spencer's birthday! So we had buffet for lunch! Then off to town we went!

To do what? Camwhore la obviously - with me around, the cameras will never stop snapping.

Birthday boy:

My one and only blueblue! The world may change, but everything we share will always stay the same

Spot the difference!

Answer: One with ass, one without ass.

The birthday boy and the robber.

CHECK OUT THE EXPRESSION ON SPANKS. Priceless

Emo shot.

Me: "How does it feel like to be officially sixteen?!"

Spanks: "How did it feel like on 11th sept?!"

(I have friends who like to shoot at me with sarcasm.)

Left to right - Spencer, Sirbest, Nicholas, Stella, Zhengquan and Sharlyn!

:O IT'S FALLING! HEEEELLLLPPPPPPP

Sirbest and I.

I look so freaky - I'm sorry.

We sign our cards and letters BFF
You've got a million ways to make me laugh
You're looking out for me, you've got my back
It's so good to have you around
You know the secrets I could never tell
And when I'm quiet you break through my shell
Don't feel the need to do a rebel yell
Cuz you keep my feet on the ground

You're a true friend
You're here ‘till the end
You pull me aside when somethin' ain’t right
Talk with me now and into the night
‘Till it's alright again
You're a true friend

You don't get angry when I change the plans
Somehow you're never out of second chances
You don't say "I told you", when I'm wrong again
I'm so lucky that I found

A true friend you're here till the end
You pull me aside when somethin' ain’t right
Talk with me now and into the night
‘Till it's alright again

True friends will go to the end of the earth
‘Till they find the things you need
Friends hang on to the ups and the downs, cuz they got someone to believe in

I love you Blue.

"My chains are gone, I've been set free, my God my saviour has ransomed me."

-Easy is the path to wisdom for those not blinded by themselves.

God You're amazing!

2008-12-19T12:34:00.002+08:00

Yesterday was one of the happiest days of my life! I'd been praying so hard for the past few days just for yesterday and God has not only answered my prayers, He did even more! He made me one of the happiest women on earth!

Let me bring you through!

I woke up at 10am with a bad headache - what was worse was, I had tuition at 12pm! So I hurried out of bed to take a shower, and changed into my uniform immediately. (Too kiasu! My tuition was supposed to end at 1.30pm which meant I had 30mins to change and reach school! So obviously I wear first right?!)

Then, ate lunch and waited for my tuition teacher to arrive. I was preparing to bring my books out and revise just a little before he came when I suddenly received an sms: -

"Abigail, you'll be collecting your results today so I think I'll postpone to monday 2pm, ok?"

Apart of me shrieked with joy and apart of me went like...

- zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

I was elated that I did not have to sit through tuition and not be able to concentrate but on the other hand, I was already prepared for it. So I was caught in the middle. But I was happy anyway!

So sissy accompanied me to school and sat (not very patiently) there till I came down from the AVA seminar room. So while in the seminar room, the scenario went like this...

We met our new principal, Mr Lim (or was it Lee? Oh crap!) and then the teachers talked a whole load of bullshit which made me feel even worse 'cause I was too excited for the results! So then came the time for the issuing of result slips! - screams!

And I was the first! As usual, since I'm always register #1! So I stood up... Went over to the table right in front of me, greeted both my form and co. form teachers and reached out to take my result slip which were in the hands of my co. form! And I was really shivering so badly! It didn't help that the room was air-conditioned, gaaaah!

Once it was in my hands, I scanned through for the part which I thought would go something like, 'Number of points attained for Best 3: ___', but no! You had to count yourself, and that made my heart race even faster.

So what I saw was...

Subject Grade

English Language One

Combined Humanities Three

Mathematics Five

Science (Chem/Bio) Three

Principles Of Accounts One

Chinese Three

Initially, I saw one, three and three. So I thought, wow! God has really fulfilled my wish for a 7!

But then I looked again, and saw another ONE! Which meant I had gotten a 5 instead!

AND I WAS ENTHRALLED. I stood there for like 10secs just to soak everything in!

Okay so yes, then I went grinning from ear to ear and blah blah blah.

Last Sunday

Pictures!

Bryan and I.

Everyone says we look very alike, some even mistake me for her. Wow

So after lunch that day, we headed to Jones, for coffee!

My cool and hip grandma! Does your grandma speak english to you, sing your type of songs, wear the cool-est clothes or wade around the room like a duck with your little cousin? Mine does.

Then within the week, we went there again, 'cause apparently D seemed to like the place.

D and sissy.

And this what I got the second time!

Real good.

Jesus said "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"

I'm never gonna be the same, You're never gonna leave me,

God You're amazing!

Pictures!

2008-12-13T01:21:00.003+08:00

Haha I know I've blogged like twice today already - and this is the third - but I'm just so excited! The family shoot we took a few weeks ago are out and I'd love to share it with y'all!

Woohoo!

Model-like huh!

Cute huh!

Suave!

Sisterly-love!

Sorry guys, she's taken!

I look bald :( the wind blew my hair right to the back, maaan!

That's about it!

This song is dedicated to...

2008-12-12T23:42:00.003+08:00

My heavenly Father.

I welcome you inside my life
For what you do
Oh you make me happy
So very happy
Once again

Here I stand
So inspired
To take your hand
And never take for granted
What I was granted
Once again

Chorus:
I never thought I could love again
I never thought I'd let somebody else in
I never thought I could trust and then
Here I am in love once again
(Once again)

You touched my heart
Now I can breathe
You saved my life
And still I can't believe you made it happen
Made it happen
Once again

Chorus:
I never thought I could love again
I never thought I'd let somebody else in
I never thought I could trust and then
Here I am in love once again
(Once again)

He made me love once again.

Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist!

2008-12-12T21:02:00.002+08:00

That was the show we watched today at Grand Cathay! (Spencer, Clarence and I) I never heard of it until Clarence showed me the movie link and asked if I wanted to watch!

It was a great movie, real funny - there was this part, that the drunk girl was barfing into the toilet bowl when her phone rang. And taking it out of her jacket pocket, it slipped off her fingers and fell right into the bowl she was puking in! Then her gum that she had been chewing on fell into it as well. And desperate as she was, she reached in and picked both of it out.

The worst part: SHE PUT THE GUM RIGHT BACK INTO HER MOUTH.

Hahaha! Ughh.

Haha!

I loveee this photo, it looks so... artistic! *applauses for self!*

Photo of the year:

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I just cannot help but laugh whenever I look at this picture.

Quote of the day:

"Your brain can lie to itself but your heart never can."

Body of lies!

2008-12-11T23:18:00.002+08:00

Went to watch Body Of Lies with Philip, Clarence, Mengchao and Zhengquan on tues! It was an interesting movie overall (trust me, I've seen worse), it was quite nice.

We had planned to watch Wild Child before Body Of Lies, but I was late. Who knew the bus ride took so freeeaaakingggggg long! And everyone started blaming me, boo!

So instead of watching Wild Child, we went to White Dog Cafe to eat. (The rest ate Long John while waiting for me to arrive and they went for a second round! Gosh! Gluttons.)

Clarence Ong a.k.a FAT BOY.

Philip!

Zheng Quan and Meng Chao!

Can you believe this?! Clarence Ong is actually SHY! :O

He's too excited for the food.

"Eh, should I take this? It looks too good to resist!"

Stop and stare!

"Dear Lord, I pray that You will bless this meal, so that whomsoever eats of it would be as handsome as Brad Pitt! Amen!"

BIG FACE

Then we went to the rooftop to sit and enjoy the breeze and scenery!

"The heart of the wise is in the house of mourning, while the heart of the fool is in the house of entertainment."

Fruitful day!

2008-12-08T13:40:00.002+08:00

We went to church as usual yesterday, had the session with Big Pam again after first service. She taught us something which I thought was really important for us, applicable to our lives. The lessons I learnt yesterday was priceless, from the start of the day to the end.

So, watch out world! There's a new girl in town!

Had lunch at T3 again, then took the sky train back and forth, then roamed the whole of T3.

"Die you disgusting pickle!"

Another one of those wildly imaginative talks.

Trying to look cold. Haha.

Then back at expo!

Omg, check out that expression! HAHA.

I'd like to introduce you to Jerald.

"Abby, don't take me lah." *poses*

"I told you not to take right?!" *poses*

"Hey, enough of it man" *poses*

"Stop it before I get angry!" *poses*

Then...

Jerald: "Okay lah, I help you take"

So he takes my phone and this was the picture...

Does this look like me?!

Photos from Phy:

See that halo above my head?

On the road to heaven,

I pictured a place filled with lovely, colourful, nice-smelling fruits,

a full view of the most breathtaking sceneries,

there'd be people dancing in the streets, without a worry in the world,

and I'd be with Him, forever.

I love you, Father.

You're just another picture to burn

2008-12-06T13:14:00.002+08:00

I am on a mission to ____.

Of course, I wouldn't type it here. Too personal - just wanna make your hearts itchy. Hehehe...

Yesterday we had the best jamming session ever! We had proper drummer, keyboardist, electric guitarist, and bassist (okay no, spanks is not a bassist, but he totally owned it)! It sounded really whole, just awesome.

And of course, we did My God! My first ever completed song. Now it's deliverance's single. It's a worship song, and it totally rocked. Sirbest will upload it on his page, so go check it out! I can't wait for us to be singing this in church! - I believe!

Amen.

Before heading for bugis, Sirbest, Clarence, Nicholas and I went to Spanks' place.

Clarence on the computer.

Spanks and Sirbest fixing strings.

The ah beng! Haha, okay - not! But he looks like one, eh?

Omgggggosh, would you just LOOK AT THAT. Sooooo adorable. I love this thing, it sticks to me wherever I go when I'm at his place - even when sleeping!

Watching some cheeeeena show.

Left to right - Nic, Sirbest, Spanks, me, Julia. (Check out Sirbest and Spanks!)

And, photos from wednesday!

Me sissy and me brudddaaarrrr

Cold As You

2008-12-06T00:36:00.002+08:00

You have a way of coming easily to me

And when you take, you take the very best of me

So I start a fight, 'cause I need to feel something

And you do what you want, 'cause I'm not what you wanted

Oh what a shame, what a rainy ending given to a perfect day

Just walk away, no use defending words that you will never say

And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through

I've never been anywhere cold as you

You put up walls and paint them all a shade of gray

And I stood there loving you and wished them all away

And you come away with a great little story

Of a mess of a dreamer, with the nerve to adore you

You never did give a damn thing honey but I cried, cried for you

Every smile you fake is so condescending

Counting all the scars you made

And now that I'm sitting here thinking it through

I've never been anywhere cold as you...

Teary night...

2008-12-02T23:12:00.002+08:00

M&D are on the plane now, to israel. And if I'm not wrong, they only boarded a few minutes ago.

All three of us cried, we'd never been away from them for such a long period of time before. Our holidays were always spent together.

Okay, never mind about that. I wrote another song today! - incredulously.

Haha, it's kinda different from the rest, 'cause the other four songs are worship songs.

But then I got inspired to write one about what I feel about God, the kind with a story background.

It's entitled, 'I'll Be There' and here's the first few verses of the song plus chorus: -

Sitting here alone in a mess

All curled up with my face in my hands

I was ready to take away

All the pain I'd felt inside

Looking down at the bottom ground

I thought to myself, "the time is now,"

I closed my eyes as the tears streamed down

Said a tiny little 'sorry' and started to count

Just as I was 'bout to reach over the wall

I heard a clear voice and to me it called

I turned to see the man who stopped my fall

He smiled at me, stretched out a hand and talked

Chorus

Take my hand, I'll show you the way

I'll keep you safe within my arms and clear all your dismay

Walk with me, follow my lead

When you're down and know you can't move on, I'll be there

I think it's the most touching one I've written - so far. But I'll definitely continue with more of such! Wish me luck!

And I'm really thankful for Spanks and Sirbest for all the help with my songs. And of course, the greatest help of all, God, who has helped me with each word of the song.

Anyway I've pictures that need to be uploaded! So here goes...

From the earlier ones to the latest and most recent ones...

Me and Phyphy at AMK's macs.

Plus Stella.

At NUS, for The Promise musical.

I was there!

Photoshoot day!

Sunday, with Phyphy at the Airport.

Sunday, with the rest, Spanks, Shaun (hehehehehehe), Phy, me and Sirbest!

Taken with Sirbest's camera, he moved - I think.

And last but definitely not least...

YOU LIKE EGGS?

Relationships

2008-11-27T20:39:00.002+08:00

I've always wondered why relationships are so hard to maintain.

Be it, family, friends, BGR, etc.

You can never have a perfect relationship with any being on earth. See, if you had a best friend who has the exact same personality or character as you, it wouldn't work out 'cause you both'd be too stubborn and neither would give in during a quarrel/fight/misunderstanding/tiff etc.

Or if both were the shy kind, neither would open up to either and how would that kind of relationship work out?

Subsequently, if both had total opposite personality/character/thinking, would that not be far worse than having the same thinking etc?

This is why life sucks, most of the time.

Nothing works out right. Just when you thought you could confide in someone you trust, that person turns his/her back on you and stabs you hard on your back.

Just when you thought you could return home to your wife/husband to complain and grumble about your tough day at work, you find your wife/husband in bed with your computer repair man.

Just when you needed your bf/gf to be there for you, they turn their backs on you.

It ain't easy to build a relationship up, but it's so easy for everything to crumble and fall apart within a split second.

Yes, it pains me, but I'm sure everything was meant to be.

You were there for me one day, and the next you were gone.

But I'm really thankful for the love of God.

He calms the storms in me, and heals all my pain.

I know I'm in good hands whenever I think back on all the shame.

I love You, God.

David Archuleta

2008-11-26T11:54:00.002+08:00

I BOUGHT HIS ALBUM!
And you have no idea how happy I am!
The last time I went to check for it, it wasn't out yet and the newspaper lied!
Then on monday, my whole family and I were running errands in causeway point, when I thought of checking it out again.

AND TO MY AMAZEMENT, IT WAS THERE!
My jaw literally dropped!
Then I ran back to the PC shop, where my parents were, and found out that they were done with whatever they needed to find.

Me: "Are y'all happy now?"
Parents: "Ya, why?"
Me: "Can I also be happy?!"

And then my dad followed me to the shop and handed me a $50 note!!!
CAN YOU IMAGINE?!
I was overwhelmed!

Anyway, his CD is awesome! I love every single song in it!
Even those that sissy hates, I love!
Love him love him love him.

Was talking to phyphy on the phone last night till bout 1plus, 2.
And she told me ~~stuffs~~ which I was supposed to know, but I don't.
And she actually knew more than me hahahaha.
This full of rubbish girl is really FULL OF RUBBISH.
See you later phyphy.

Yay, another time of bonding session for us at telok kurau tonight.
Hopefully, the skinny guy doesn't forget us like the other one did.
Grrr

"Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion,
which cannot be shaken but endures forever."
Psalm 125:1

The Word Of God

2008-11-20T11:50:00.005+08:00

As I was doing my devotion this morning, I came across a certain few versus, which were very prominent. Also cause Daddy had highlighted and underlined it! Haha!

Taken from the book of Deuteronomy 30:11-19

The Offer Of Life Or Death

11"Now what I am commanding you today is not too difficult for you or beyond your reach.
12It is not up in heaven, so that you have to ask, "Who will ascend heaven to get it and proclaim it to us so we may obey it?"
13Nor is it beyond the sea, so that you have to ask, "Who will cross the sea to get it and proclaim to us so we may obey it?"
14No, the word is very near you; it is in your mouth and in your heart so you may obey it.

15See, I set before you today life and prosperity, death and destruction.
16For I command you today to love the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, and to keep His commands, decrees and laws; then you will live and increase, and the Lord your God will bless you in the land you are entering to possess.

17BUT if your heart turns away and you are not obedient, and if you are drawn away to bow down to other gods and worship them,
18I declare to you this day that you will certainly be destroyed. You will not live long in the land you are crossing the Jordan to enter and possess.

19This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live,
20and that you may love the Lord your God, listen to His voice, and hold fast to Him. For the Lord is your life, and He will give you many years in the land he swore to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."

From this, I feel that we should be faithful to God, just as He is to us.
He has placed before us options of life and death, however, many of us choose to embrace death and destruction instead of eternal life.
Yes, the path towards life is narrow and small but we should not succumb to the evil deeds of this world.
We, as children of God, should stand out and be extraordinary, BREAK THE SPIRIT OF MEDIOCRITY, and change the world around us, that we may experience revival!

Just the thought of revival excites me!
I've always pictured people out on the streets, having fellowship all around, singing and dancing.
Doing all these unto the Lord. Would He not be pleased?
Wooo! I feel a surge of joy!

ANYWAY!
I've written three songs all in all and I'm planning to continue!
God has helped me through all the writing, especially the lyrics and I would never be able to complete them without His help!
Yay He's the greatest! :D

Encounter Weekend.

2008-11-19T11:39:00.003+08:00

I am officially dead in my old self and reborn in Christ!
I have to say, encounter weekend was the best decision I have made for the past 16 plus years in my life.
And of course, the best thing that ever happened to me was knowing the love of our heavenly Father.
I felt so close to Him during the EW, and something happened that changed me on the inside.
It still gets to me now, just thinking about it.

Anyway! We saw The Crossing video, on the first night, which is Friday night.
And what really struck me the most, was the part where the lead actor, was sent to some dessert, and there, in front of him was a huge cross.
There were many people dressed in olden days clothes, yelling at the top of their voices, "Crucify him!".
He looked around and saw that they were referring to him, and started to wonder.
Then there came a man, wounded from top to toe, filled with blood, in the hands of two roman soldiers.
He hit him by accident and instead of the lead actor being crucified, that man got nailed to the cross.

This signifies the divine exchange.

As the roman soldiers were nailing the wounded man on the cross, the lead actor stood behind watching and screaming for them to stop, but just as one of the roman soldiers turned his head around, he realised that it was actually himself.

This part hit me the most because it made me realise that it was our sins that nailed Jesus to the cross.
We were the culprits who had nailed Him there.

And another part of the show that touched me was, when the lead actor and his friend were walking in the dessert, they came to a point where they were almost at the edge. Now look at these pictures:

Imagine you were the one standing at the edge of these high mountains, and you have to cross over.
But crossing over means death.

And suddenly, you see a biggggg cross in front of you, that connects to the other mountain you were supposed to go to.

And you believe you would make it through.

We were all at the point of death, but Jesus came and saved our lives, and died for us. All it takes is a little faith, believe in Him and nothing is impossible.

Going to the encounter has allowed me to make so many new friends.
And of course that includes the crazy Phyllis! Haha, you're a treasure, darling.
So now, here are some pictures we took during the weekend!

Haha, unglam I know. Taken by Phyllis during one of the sessions!

INTRODUCING...

The kick-assingly funny and crazy PHYLLIS QUAN HUI FANG!
(She doesn't like her chinese name so I'm putting it here on purpose :D)

Another shot!

Phyllis laughs at this like every time she sees it. zzzzzz

Charlene and I! Another dearie.

This was taken on our way up to the field for games!
Stella, Sandra, and I.

Before boarding the bus!

This was taken in the bus on our way to expo for youth service! :D

A video taken by me of these two crazy women! :D

Last but not least, I'd like to end this post with a letter from God. Each sentence of this letter is from the Bible, the word of God and it goes like this...

My Child...

You may not know me, but I know everything about you.
I know when you sit down and when you rise up.
I am familiar with all your ways.
Even the very hairs on your head are numbered.
For you were made in my image.
In me you live and move and have your being.
For you are my offspring.
I knew you even before you were conceived.
I chose you when I planned creation.
You were not a mistake, for all your days are written in my book.
I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live.
You are fearfully and wonderfully made.
I knit you together in your mother's womb.
And brought you forth the day you were born.
I have been misrepresented by those who don't know me.
I am not distant and angry, but am the complete expression of love.
And it is my desire to lavish my love on you.
Simply because you are my child and I am your Father.
I offer you more than your earthly father ever could.
For I am the perfect father.
Every good gift that you receive comes from my hand.
For I am your provider and I meet all your needs.
My plan for your future has always been filled with hope.
Because I love you with an everlasting love.
My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore.
And I rejoice over you with singing.
For you are my treasured possession.
I desire to establish you with all my heart and all my soul.
And I want to show you great and marvelous things.
If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me.
Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart.
For it is I who gave you those desires.
I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine.
For I am the greatest encourager.
I am also the Father who comforts you in all your troubles.
When you are brokenhearted, I am close to you.
As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart.
One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes.
And I'll take away all the pain you have suffered on this earth.
I am your Father, and I love you as I love my son, Jesus.
For in Jesus, my love for you is revealed.
He is the exact representation of my being.
He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you.
And to tell you that I am not counting your sins.
Jesus died so that you and I could be reconciled.
His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you.
I gave up everything I loved that I might gain your love.
If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me.
And nothing will ever separate you from my love again.
Come home and I'll throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen.
I have always been Father, and will always be Father.
My question is... Will you be my child?
I am waiting for you.

Insomnia

2008-11-11T12:36:00.003+08:00

I HAVE PROBLEMS SLEEPING.
I haven't had sufficient sleep since last Saturday night no matter how hard I force myself to sleep. Gawd.
It's affecting my daily activities and it sucks, basically.
It's like, I lie in bed waiting to fall asleep, but I never do.
Even when I'm constantly yawning away, or when I'm extremely tired.
And I've been having this excruciating headache due to the lack of sleep.

I think I need sleeping pills.

Anyway! I've been waiting for nice movies to come out!
Nothing is to my fancy now, so I guess I'll have to keep waiting.

I need to sleep so badly.

'Cause baby, I'm tired,
I'm tired of the fight,
I'm tired of the lonely days
and the dark endless nights

'Cause you're hot then you're cold

2008-11-07T20:15:00.005+08:00

I need to take up something. Anything.
Dance, music, art, skateboarding, whatever!
Sissy said she'll pay for our dance class fees as soon as she works, right? *hinthint
Eheeeeeheeeeheeeee

Okay sissy and I went to Reb's house to swim on wednesday, and guess what, IT RAINED.
So we ended up going home unsatisfied.
But oh well, chingay practise satisfied me :D
As long as I get my ass off the chair and work out!

Today, we went to Bedok to have lunch,
and I noticed that there were many old uncles selling tissue paper.
I felt sorry and took pity on them so I bought tissue from each one that approached me, and sissy scolded me for it, saying I was too gullible. :(
But those uncles really looked pitiful!
Just thinking about them makes my heart ache.

So after that we headed to Vivo to pick M from work.
Then went to buy paint for re-painting the house,
which will commence on Monday!
Muahahahahahahaha.
I found my excitement!
I'll definitely post up pictures of my art :D

'cause everywhere I go,
no matter what I do boy,
I just can't get you outta my head

It Ends Tonight

2008-11-06T15:09:00.004+08:00

Sometimes you feel like screaming.
Sometimes you feel like hitting the wall.
Sometimes you feel like hollering profanities at the top of your lungs until you're out.
Sometimes you feel like kicking a chair.
Sometimes you feel like bleeding.
Sometimes you feel like falling over the window and landing into pieces at the first floor.
Sometimes you feel like taking a person's head (preferably the one who's responsible for landing you in this state), and plucking out every single strand of hair, banging it against a door, then placing it on top of the keys of a piano and slamming the cover shut.

This is one of those times.

You say you understand, but you don't.
When I tell you how I feel, you'll find excuses for yourself and usually end up getting pissed at me.
You neglect me when you're around your friends.
You always claim you don't but you're not me that's why you'll never know.
You treat me like treasure only when you need a favour, but when you don't, I'm invisible.
Whenever you said I'm your best friend, I believed you.
Whenever you said you needed them not, I trusted you.
Whenever I said I wanted you, you go with them.
Right from the start, friends were more important to you.

So what can I do?

Sit behind the computer screen and cry.

I thought you were different now.
I guess I'm wrong.
Nothing compares to this.
Don't even bother asking me, or telling me that you're sorry.
What am I supposed to say to you?

The truth is, I've been wearing a mask
Putting up a strong front
But I can't do that anymore
I miss you
I really do

Better In Time

2008-11-04T12:39:00.002+08:00

I AM A HAPPY WOMAN.
You know why?
Not telling you!
-giggles

I've been piled up with shitloads of stuff to do,
and I'm coming down with a sorethroat, cough and all that bullshit.
I guess 'cause my sleeping hours are screwed up.
Ohwell, I love chingay practices!
I made lots of new friends from church whom I never knew existed.
Haha, they are lovely people.

Spanks and I have come up with songs! Whoo!

~~Dang, I need a remedy for everything.~~

I dumped the locks

2008-10-24T19:00:00.002+08:00

YES. I chopped off my long long hair!
The length I'm stuck with now is something I never pictured having.
It was sissy's idea that I cut it SHORT and yes, it is very short, to me, that is.

Here goes...

Don't cry! ............

Actually it looks quite long here, 'cause I was looking down.
"Huh...how short?!" -right?!

THAT short hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

So anyway, me and sissy went to vivo to have lunch with M&D.
And we dined at...

The Asian Kitchen
The food was great! Loved it.

A very pissed off girl.

And how I wish you only knew
What I feel inside for you
You probably haven't got a clue
But I wish you knew
How I love you baby
~~Iloveyou,David.~~

Chingay

2008-10-21T15:51:00.002+08:00

I can't wait for the next Chingay practice!
Sissy and I auditioned last friday and boy, was it a hell of an audition.
The warm-ups were pretty much crazy enough to make my muscles stretch and pull, considering how long I've not been exercising haha.
But on the whole, it was really fun and exciting, not forgetting interesting!
I finally feel like I'm living each day of my life for some purpose!
Not that I haven't been living for a purpose...but what the hell, you didn't need to know that.

Okay! So the next practice is on the 2nd of Nov and I am dying for it to come.

And since I'm free the whole of today, I thought it'd be interesting to watch...

Great movie.
'cause the lead actor, Robbie Amell, is ~~drop-dead-gorgeous~~.
Hah!

So now I'm halfway through The Secret Life Of The American Teenager,

and I think Shailene Woodley is very pretty.

Alrightey, that's all!

Love can make you do things that you never thought possible
-Phil Collins

Occupied

2008-10-15T10:57:00.003+08:00

I've been busybusybusy since accounts paper was over and I'd no time to blog.
And f-i-nally! A day to rest! (and of course blog, heh heh heh)

Last Thursday
Went cycling with Spencer, Darren, Nicholas and Zhengquan at east coast park!

They decided to take a break while cycling halfway and play cards. -.-
So while waiting, I was happily snapping away.

My favourite photo!

Theeen... they saw a spider, and they were all so fascinated! (as you can see)

Last Friday
Went to spencer's place with Stella, Darren, Sirbest, Nicholas and Zhengquan!
We watched dvds and then went to write chords.
It was a great day for me, and, well, only some would know why.
Went to dad's office in the night to wait for him to finish his meeting.

Sunday
The great sunday!
Went for morning service with Spencer and Stella.
(Darren didn't make it 'cause he was playing computer games till 4am, but I already kicked his ass)
So after that, headed down to bugis for jamming!

Darren and Sirbest.

Spencer.

~~imiss.~~

This time, this place

2008-10-08T20:33:00.000+08:00

It's the start of the holidays for me and I spent the whole day at home!
Actually i love home, nothing beats lazing around on the couch watching dvds.
So I caught...

and...

I thought it was not bad.

But anyway!
I spent half of the whole afternoon today doing

this!

And, it matches my toenails too!

Hooottttt piiinkkkkkk.

I'm not a fan of pink, but I thought it'd be interesting for something new!
Since I always went with the same usual dark colours.
But you didn't need to know that.

I know I have not blogged in aaaages!
Studying seems to be the only thing I did all of last week. (That explains :D)
Okay so now that I have ALL the time in the world, I totally can't wait to have some fun and go wildddddddddd!

sometimesIwisheverythingwouldturnoutright,likewithyouandme
~~butIhavetoletgo~~

Anniversary!

2008-09-29T18:14:00.004+08:00

Pictures during M&D's...what...18th(?) anniversary this year!
It was on the 22th but we celebrated as a family on the 21st at Marina Mandarin, if my memory's not failing me.
The food was marvelous, and the service was excellent.
It's long overdue...but I must share the niceee food! :P

But first, we went to Hot Tomato for lunch at Plaza Sing.

Moneyface!

And... Here comes the dinner!

That's the first we had... Shark fin plus fish maw soup (or something like that, don't ask me about food).
Oh, and it was a buffet!! :D

Uh...abit dark ah...these shots were taken by sissy so, nothing to do with me! Eheeheeeheeh

Oh, that's my drunken prawn or something like that. DELICIOUSSSS

I don't know whose this is and I don't know what that is.

Eh...this is worse right? So black...

Suuuushi!

Self obsession in the toilet! (Sorry la, see the toilet la, nice right??!!)

Actually I like the pink flowers behind...

Okaaaay...this looks like *ahem*____ (fill in the blanks)

(Don't ask me)

Oh oh! That's my sambal egg. I only took half of an egg, then when I went back to my seat...
Everybody: "Eww, what's that!"
Eh but nice okay! Spicy!

Chocolate cake! The best.

(???salmon???)

Marshmallows covered with chocolate! Mmmmm....

Fondue!! The greatest.

This is my art!! :D

M&D's anniversary cake! From the captain...he's great man.

M&D!!

People I can't live without.

Aww...

Cookies!

Testing the cake for the King&Queen.

Sparkling water

Oh, this is my favourite section, dessert! :D

Sissy &I.

The queen, sissy &I.

This car is like super duper uper nice. It was parked outside the hotel.
Its road tax itself is like...(can't remb how much) but suuuuuper ex!
So you can imagine how rich this person is eh, plus staying at a fivestar hotel!

Alrightey, toodles~

As we go on...we remember...all the times we...had together...

2008-09-24T13:24:00.002+08:00

Today is the last day of schoooooool!
Had no lessons, only our graduation service.
The teachers did a fantastic job in making it memorable for us.
And it was quite saddening, although some of us might still be moving on to sec5, we would miss those that do not.

Overall, I thought it was swell.

Deliverance!! Plus uh, Jiahao. :D
Sirbest, Jiahao, Spencer.

We have spent (close to) four years together in PHS,
I'm sure it was part of God's perfect plan.
Although it was like a roller coaster ride,
it was worth the experience.
I would never forget the delightful memories,
neither the unpleasant ones.
I would definitely miss each and every one whom I have met during my 'stay' in PHS, and those who've impacted my life since sec1.
I enjoyed these four years and all the precious moments would be etched in my heart.

(Say until I wanna cry already)

You spell 'heart' with 'time'.
Everyday, it's You I live for!

I love math.

2008-09-17T15:53:00.003+08:00

No, I hate math. I hate calculating numbers, especially all the stupid formula shit you have to memorize.
Urgh, it just turns me off, and makes me sleepy.
Plus the fact that my math teacher isn't at all encouraging, it adds to my hatred for math.

So... In a recent class test, I figured I should get on my teacher's nerves since she always got on mine.

This is my favourite :

Haha! Maybe she thinks I'm complimenting her.

Bang!

Me : "I feel like eating chocolates"
Stella : "Eat Terence ah"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Icriedatearofblood

I just can't help but sing Your praises.

2008-09-16T19:37:00.002+08:00

First of all, saturday, 13th of September, is one of the best days of my life!
A really unforgettable one, which is etched in my memory.

Allow me to bring you through...

Early in the morning, while I was watching Autumn In My Heart in the room with mummy,
sissy (the woman) called for me from outside.
Agitated, I reluctantly dragged my ass out and saw a cake on the shoe rack, with the door wide open,
and if I'm not wrong, I recognized blueX2's (Stella) shoes at my door.

As I continued to walk further, SHE POPPED OUT FROM MY STUDY ROOOOOOOOM!
I got the greatest shock of my life!
But yes, I was very very touched :]
She came to give me this...

Yeah, it's half eaten.
Know why?
'cause I ate lah!
It was too tempting.
I love you blue

Next, upon meeting Pam that afternoon, we were supposed to meet the guys at Orchard.
But she told me to meet her earlier, because she had to collect something from AMK hub.
And so I followed, without a clue what she was up to.

After reaching AMK and walking like 50 steps away from the station,
I saw two people running towards me.
Opening my tiny eyes to make out who they were, I noticed it was Joanne and Kai Lin!
They came to give me this...

Pam.Jo.Kai
The people I grew up with, the loves of my life.

Pam : "Yeah, they were the "things" I needed to collect."

Front
I hope I don't look like that.

Back

After that, we made our way to Orchard to meet...

Bryant and Saiful.

After our movie, we had Seoul Garden!
But Pam had to leave, so we sent her off.

Sunday

Went jamming at Bugis after service.
What can I say, it was great.
Considering we tried out No Tomorrow only the first time.
But it sounded really good.
I'm proud of us :]

Spencer and Sirbest.
Sorry, my lousy photography skills.

Zhengquan.

Spencer.

Sirbest.

After which, we had PRATA!
It was huge! Couldn't finish.

Spencer changing his drink 'cause he spotted a strand of hair!

The one on the left is horrible.

After lunch, we went to City Hall to fix Spencer's guit.
Then headed home and went for dinner with family.

That's my darling.

Oh yes, and Joey gave me this!

Chocolates! Loved 'em.

And this is from the guys...

Haha!

Youdon'tmeanathingnomore

You make me ill.

2008-09-13T08:25:00.002+08:00

School ended the earliest yesterday at like, what, 1.15pm?

Hah, school is sucking the life outta me.

Met Damien after I went home and headed down to Dhoby Ghaut to catch...

this movie at Grand Cathay.

And yes, you guessed it, it was real freaky, for me of course.

I'm not the kind that would pay to scare myself so...haha, you know :)

Before our movie started, we bumped into his dad!

At first I thought it was his school teacher or something,

or maybe even his friend, because he looked so young!

Never did it cross my mind that he was his father, haha.

Me: "Your dad looks damn young."

Damien: "Wait till you see my mother."

Haha!

So after that we proceeded home, as daddy would be coming home tonight from his trip and I missed him! So cabbed back.

Thanks, I had a wonderful night :)

I think I'll get outta here,

where I can run just as fast as I can,

to the middle of nowhere,

to the middle of my frustrated fears,

and I swear, you're just like a pill,

instead of making me better,

you keep making me ill.

I'll kick you real hard.

Now I know what to say.

GET OUT.

Sweet sixteen.

2008-09-11T21:24:00.003+08:00

First of all, I must say a big thank you to sissy who made my day wonderful!

I really enjoyed myself, thanks for everything.

I love you.

Upon reaching cine, we had pastamania for lunch!

Next up, mooooovieeee! :D

We caught two movies, death race & bangkok dangerous, for the price of one!

No, actually, for the price of half!

Me and sissy paid $6 altogether, so that's $3 each!

Heh heh heh.

And, I'm not gonna tell you how!

So after both movies, we went to meet mummy at vivo to get a cake.

And on the way home...

The flowers were...uh...random. (:

After which, I met damien and he passed me a present.

I loved it, thanks loads.

You had your chance.

Now the opportunity's gone.

Just leave me alone.

Forever.

Happy birthday, to me.

2008-09-11T08:34:00.003+08:00

I was late for school!

That explains why I'm home blogging :D

It's the 11th of september!!

Sissy didn't have to attend school today,

but she woke up early to give me...

this!

I screamed upon laying my eyes on it, hahaha.

As you can see, it's mostly archie's pictures!!

Now you know why I was so excited! Hehehe...

I have to say, Jie, this is the best birthday present from you ever. :D

And, she says she has a birthday surprise for me later on.

Can't wait can't wait!

Oh yes, and Ariel came last night.

"Will you stop snapping already?!"

Irresistible, huh?

I know. :P

You see, I'm still waiting.

There's fifteen hours for you to remember.

Underwear, anyone?

2008-09-10T16:01:00.001+08:00

Michael Jackson's undies are being auctioned! Anyone interested?

"The unwashed undies were part of the evidence confiscated back in the 2003 molestation case by former Santa Barbara DA, Tom Sneddon.

They were supposed to be used to get a DNA sample for the child-molestation case Jacko was facing.
The undies then ended up in the hands of New Jersey businessman Henry Vacarro, who obtained them in a bankruptcy case.
So, now, in an effort to make money off Jackson, the size 28 undies will be up for auction on eBay tomorrow.
The reserve to be met in order to purchase them will only be $1,000,000!!!!
Sounds like a bargain, huh???
But, you could clone your own Wacko with that DNA!!! Right???

And to keep it all authentic and exciting, the underwear will be shipped in the original packaging, sealed inside an evidence bag and wrapped with police tape."

I always thought MJ was a freak. His nose would fall off, how gross is that. Imagine him walking along the street, when his nose drops off suddenly, lands on the ground, and unknowingly tramps over it, making a squish sound, with a huge hole right in the middle of his face. Ugh, just sick.

Anyway, I didn't know what to post, so I used MJ as an excuse. :D

I can't wait for jamming this sunday after last sunday's session. I've been thinking about it since, and I can't wait for the new studio!! The rooms are wide and spacious and it looks really classy!

Unlike the one we went to previously, which had limited space.

But anyway, my point is, yes, I can't wait.

And, here are some photos I took with andrew on the train home on sunday.

I love you, but I hate you. I need something simpler.

Hello. Yes, you.

2008-09-09T17:46:00.000+08:00

~~Fhahauhellocshitkyou~~ it.

My emotions are running wild within me now.

I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do.

I don't know what I'm feeling.

I don't know what's going on.

I don't know what's going to happen.

I don't know.

Sometimes I wish everything would just be right.

Sometimes I wish it would not.

Sometimes I wish everything would just disappear.

Sometimes I wish it would not.

Most of the time, I just wanna escape.

I detest these meaningless traumas,

but what can I do.

It's far beyond my reach,

and I feel like a big dumb fool.

You give me the strength to face everything,

but you also take it away from me instantly.

I don't know what to believe,

I think I'm going crazy.

And, it's not a song.

Is anyone gonna save me?